Don't get me wrong, I'm sure Palmer is all for T.O. lining up across from Chad Ochocinco right now (not mention throwing Antonio Bryant in the slot). Defensive coordinators will lose plenty of sleep trying to figure out ways to cover everyone. But then the middle of the season will arrive. Jeff Garcia, Donovan McNabb, Tony Romo and Trent Edwards will all hear their phones ring. A whispered "You were right" will bring a smile to their faces as Palmer is busy applauding LeBron James for getting out of Ohio when he had the chance.
Everyone is saying they'll coexist just fine, but the team will inevitably find a way to tear itself apart. It has to, right? I mean, Ochocinco, T.O., and Bryant won't be happy going more than two games without padding their stats. And then you have to keep Cedric Benson off his boat, Adam "Pacman" Jones out of strip clubs and Tank Johnson's guns at home. A stress ball the size of Albert Haynesworth couldn't keep Marvin Lewis from going into cardiac arrest by Week 9.
If nothing else, it will make for great television (which both Ochocinco's and Owens's shows failed to do on Vh1). I'm sure NBC is salivating at the off-chance the Bengals make it to the end of the year in one piece so every Sunday night game can magically get "flexed" to showcase the Bengals' cast of characters. Speaking of characters, I would totally buy these guys going into production for Bad Boys 3 during training camp. Owens fits the muscular Will Smith role and Ochocinco and Martin Lawrence are both using bad jokes to remain relevant. Meanwhile, you have Pacman and Tank Johnson caught up in a drive-by as the camera pans over to Cedric Benson grabbing his last bottle of Hennessy off his sinking boat as the cops chase after him. It screams "Michael Bay movie" already.
But the real reason why we love Ochocinco and T.O. is for their football-related antics. So, I put together the Top 10 reasons to tune in to every Bengals game (especially the post-game interviews) this year.
10. T.O. Mocks Ray Lewis Dance
How much will Ray Lewis be looking forward to playing the Bengals? September 19th and January 2nd (in case you were wondering). That means the Bengals and Ravens end the season against one another. Roger Goodell was just spotted screaming with excitement like a 14-year-old girl after hugging Robert Pattinson.
9. You Never Know When T.O. Will Steal Your Popcorn
While T.O. never quite fulfilled his popcorn promise to Bills fans, Carson Palmer can actually throw the ball.
8. Ochocinco Kickoffs to T.O. in Practice?
Chad legitimately did a good job in his limited kicking duties. Maybe the Bengals can use their kicker's roster spot to add an extra team psychiatrist?
7. More Driveway Workouts? (Sorry about the poor video quality)
Will T.O. love Bengals fans like he loved Philly fans? Or will too many sit-ups go to his head (again)?
6. Next on Ochocinco's List: A Steel City Swan Song?
Everyone else loved giving Ochocinco the One Finger Salute, so I see no reason why Steeler fans would be any different. Although I suppose it's a bit difficult to give a guy the finger when you're too busy waving a yellow towel over your head like a hooligan.
5. Ochocinco by a Nose
Every practice should start with a mandatory race between Ochocinco and T.O. The winner shows off their newest celebration, and the loser has to go through practice silent (or at least see if they can make it the first hour).
4. "America's Team" Gets Punk'd by T.O. (twice)
No one hates the Cowboys more than me. But I'm also a card-carrying member of the "Send T.O. to Antarctica" fan club. But then watching T.O. get blasted from behind? A win-win-win.
3. Ochocinco Busts a Move...(love the background bagpipes)
I'd have to call this Ochocinco's best work. Not only is it nifty, but he doesn't get beer thrown on him by an obnoxious fan.
2. ...And Takes His Talents to ABC
Ochocinco and Cheryl Burke couldn't look less interested during this interview. But at least he shows off his humility. "I know I can do just about anything." (Dancing in the club doesn't count though, of course).
1. T.O.'s Tears for Tony
I actually hated Owens a little less after this speech. It appeared somewhat genuine, and a receiver not throwing the quarterback under the bus was refreshing. But Jessica Simpson and a Mexican-tan were too much for Tony Romo to resist. Before you know it, Tough Love's Steve Ward will be sitting down with Carson Palmer's wife asking her if "she really had to sleep with both T.O. and Ochocinco in the same week?"
Let's hug it out.
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