MLB Trade Deadline

Dan Haren's move to the Angels yesterday jump-started perhaps the most anxious week in all of baseball. Every team and their fans are hoping for that one big move (ala C.C. Sabathia heading to Milwaukee to make the Brewers contenders for half a season). Even if your team is already out of the playoff race, the trade deadline offers hope for next year. Think of it as the cute girl finally kissing you on prom night. High school might've sucked, but now you have college to look forward to (I'm talking to you Royals fans).

This is the one week of the baseball season where the Pirates actually have a legitimate chance of making headlines. Plenty of bad deals and failed prospects have kept the Pirates from the postseason since 1992. Back then Sharon Stone uncrossed her legs at will and Disney was in its prime with animated movies (Aladdin that year was a personal favorite). But at least the franchise can build around its new stadium (PNC Park is worth the price of admission if you haven't seen it), while the management continues to keep the Pirates in the National League's cellar.

But at least Pittsburgh has the Big Ben-to-Santonio Holmes connection to cure the city's woes come September. Oh wait. Holmes got suspended and then traded? And Big Ben is scheduled to miss the first six weeks of the season? Ouch. The Penguins can't get back on the ice soon enough. Sidney Crosby means about as much to Pittsburgh right now as Bono does to U2. Although with a guitarist like The Edge, I think the band would still find a way to get by.

Everyone always looks to add the marquee pitcher at the deadline. The big bat is nice, but a starting pitcher can win you a playoff series. With Haren already on his way out of Arizona and the Rangers pouncing on Cliff Lee a few weeks ago, Roy Oswalt's value is higher than ever. The Cardinals and Phillies appear to be at the front of the pack. Oswalt to St. Louis would probably make the Cardinals the favorites to win the NL with a rotation of Carpenter-Wainwright-Oswalt, not to mention the year rookie Jaime Garcia is having for the Cards.

But the Phils are more desperate than ever. With Jamie Moyer's elbow issues, Phillies GM Ruben Amaro will be even more anxious to throw the kitchen sink at the Astros for Oswalt. And with Jayson Werth leaving Philadelphia considered to be a done deal, the Phils have plenty to offer Houston.

This could mean a trade deadline without the Yankees or Red Sox making the rest of the league jealous of their over-sized pocket books. It's like a summer where Will Smith and Johnny Depp both decide not to make a movie. That happened too? But seriously, how happy are Rays fans right now? It's gotta be something close to the satisfaction of watching the overweight bully in middle school get put in time out.

While on the topic of overweight bullies, maybe Prince Fielder and Adam Dunn will find new homes in a couple of days. The Nationals are in need of putting multiple pieces around Strasburg if they want to make his career mean something in D.C. And the Brewers' baseball relevance didn't last too long as they are back in rebuilding mode once again. Personally, I wouldn't be against seeing Fielder waddle around the bases down in Atlanta. But I suppose there's about as good a chance of that happening as FOX becoming a real news station.

Lord, beer me strength.