October: Everyone's Favorite Sports Month

The blog is back by popular demand (or per my mother's request). Either way I figured it was time to dust the cobwebs off this bad boy.

Halloween is nearly here, so naturally sports fans are salivating. The baseball season is winding down (and 17 people are watching), football is in midseason form, Wayne Rooney is getting paid (and paying prostitutes), Alex Ovechkin and friends have a few weeks on the ice under their belts and the NBA season tipped off the other night.

With all the drama surrounding LeBron and his South Beach crew, there seems to be a little more interest than normal in the NBA this year. While the season is 82 games long and no one likes the guy who predicts a Nets championship after one win, it's too fun not to build outlandish expectations after the first two days. I mean, you can't hand Brett Favre a cell phone and expect him not to take pictures of Favre Jr.

So take what you will from it, but here's what we learned so far...

1. Neither the Heat or the Celtics are going 82-0 this year.

While LeBron James led an admirable comeback in Bean Town on Tuesday night, the Heat still fell to the defending Eastern Conference champs. And although Miami showed signs of being The Dream Team the media so desperately wants them to be in their win against the Sixers, I think most now realize it's going to take some time for the new Big 3 to gel.

Meanwhile, LeBron's old friends up in Cleveland did what LeBron struggled to do the past two years - beat the Celtics. After Boston looked defensively dominant in their season-opening win over the Heat, they followed it up by laying an egg against the Cavaliers (led by J.J. Hickson). Really Boston? Really? J.J. Hickson beat you? Bill Simmons cannot be pleased.

2. Could the Blazers be a darkhorse out in the West?

No one is questioning the talent in Portland. Brandon Roy and Andre Miller make up one of the more underrated backcourts in the league, and who knows what could happen if LaMarcus Aldridge and Greg Oden stay healthy. While Lindsay Lohan has a better chance at becoming a credible actress (can you say prison porno) than the Blazers staying healthy all year, maybe they can at least avoid the big injuries. If Roy and Oden can suit up together for at least 60-70 games, there's no reason why Portland can't challenge for the #2 spot in the West. Because who really thinks the Lakers aren't going to be back in the Finals this year with Steve Blake running the show (Terp love). While beating the fading Suns (unoriginal pun intended) isn't saying much, the Blazers' road win against the Clippers is more impressive than some may think. Blake Griffin and Eric Gordon are the real deal.

3. Point guards continue to dominate the NBA.

While NBA cynics complain about an overly-offensive style because most teams don't play defense until April, something has to be said for just how difficult it is to stop these offenses. Kobe, LeBron or Kevin Durant is more than likely going to win the MVP, but what these point guards do is absurd. Over the past three years, Chris Paul, Steve Nash and Deron Williams have been interchangeable atop the assist leaderboard with around 11 per game. Again, it's only a game or two into the year, but look at these numbers...


Jason Kidd put up 18 assists in the Mavericks first game, and he only played 32 minutes (more NBA stars are already beating their wives in an effort to rejuvenate their careers). Rajon Rondo had 17 when he carved up the Heat Tuesday night. And Chris Paul put aside his offseason issues with 16 assists in his season opener as well. You never want to count out Steve Nash, but the Suns sans-Amare just aren't the same. I guess Nelly Furtado will have to find a new favorite Canadian to sing about. My vote's for Jim Carrey. Was there a funnier movie than Ace Ventura when you were 10 years old?

But maybe this means a changing of the guard (more bad puns) at the position. Rondo showed everyone what he could do last year in the postseason, but Stephen Curry dished out 11 assists last night and Brandon Jennings's sweet hair accounted for 10 assists too. Aaron Brooks and Mike Conley were solid with eight assists apiece in their openers. I know I'm stretching when I'm talking about Ohio St. basketball players, but I haven't even gotten to Derrick Rose, Tyreke Evans and Russell Westbrook. The young point guard talent deserves some love. Dish it out little fella (Bill Walton voice obviously necessary here)!

We can only hope David Stern comes to his senses and does what is necessary to prevent another NBA lockout. If not, how else are we going to get to see Charles Barkley and Magic Johnson butcher the English language every night?


Smoke more weed, Turtle. Seriously, smoke more weed.

The 600 Club

Alex Rodriguez did what he does best with the pressure on - seemingly take forever to come through. But A-Rod finally put one over the fence to momentarily silence his critics (while everyone rants about how his 600th home run is tainted by steroids).

Whether you discredit all steroid-era players or just the ones caught using, the fact remains that Rodriguez is only the seventh player in baseball history to belt 600 homers, not to mention the youngest player to reach the milestone.

Hopefully for Yankee fans, this means A-Rod gets back to his normal self, as the Yankees were busy falling out of first place in the AL East during his chase for No. 600. The question is: how many Yankee fans really wanted to see Rodriguez get there? I'm sure they wanted to see him do well for the team's sake, but I can't remember when a superstar was more hated by his own fans without flipping them off. It's as if A-Rod put every Yankee fans' favorite mug into a Jell-O mold. If Derek Jeter is the Yankees' lovable Zac Efron, then Rodrguez might as well be called Mel Gibson. He is William Wallace!

I'm sure ESPN's producers are more than glad they don't have to worry any more about "checking in on A-Rod's next at-bat." After awhile, people just started getting annoyed with ESPN as much as Rodriguez. Bill Simmons, one of ESPN's columnists, said he screamed after ESPN switched to an A-Rod at-bat in the middle of Matt Garza's no-hitter. Granted, Simmons is a die-hard Red Sox fan, so I'm sure he loves seeing A-Rod succeed about as much as Albert Haynesworth loves running these days.

But now the bigger question - will A-Rod catch Barry Bonds? And if so, who's the more hated home run king? At 35, Rodriguez still has good years left ahead of him, especially since he's already in the AL where he can DH when the time comes. But if Rodriguez hits 30 home runs this year (his 600th put him at 17 for the season) and continues to hit 30 home runs for the next five years, then my math puts him at 763 - one more than the infamous Bonds.

Bonds passed Hank Aaron's longtime mark of 755 amidst a cloud of controversy over the new record's legitimacy. A-Rod was never baseball's most valuable commodity even before his admitted steroid use, but his fans are dwindling like never before. Even with a World Series ring last year and putting his postseason woes behind him, Rodriguez is still unpopular amongst even Yankee fans.

The outside factor that could affect A-Rod's pursuit of 763 - Albert Pujols. The Cardinals' slugger is putting the ball out of the park at an alarming rate, and as long as he stays healthy, Pujols will have a chance at the record even if Rodriguez manages to break it. The difference between Pujols and Rodriguez - everyone loves Fat Albert. Pujols has passed every drug test out there. He's the hitter who can do everything and you can't help but root for him (even if your name's Brad Lidge).

While A-Rod's relationship with Madonna won't land him in the Hall of Fame, hopefully his play on the field will. It's impossible to say just how many players used steroids over the past two decades. You've got a better chance at getting Snooki to do mental math in a jail cell. So, why not just let them all in and accept the fact that baseball had a large, highly-publicized black eye? Nothing a little concealer can't cure.


Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.